The feminism of the post-world war II decades profoundly transformed the lives of women throughout the world. It brought about upheavals in law and the customs of everyday life, and altered the consciousness of women themselves. Obviously, such momentous changes did not spring from unprepared ground.
The world’s first organized movement on behalf of women was inaugurated in 1848 at a small chapel in the sleepy village of Seneca Falls, New York. There the twenty year old Elizabeth Cady Stanton delivered what she described as her first public speech, confessing that she was nerved for the ordeal only by her conviction that the time had come for “the question of women’s wrongs to be laid before the public” and by her belief “that woman herself must do this work; for woman alone can understand the height, the depth, the length, and the breadth of her own degradation.”
Stanton’s statement was not hyperbole. Women at that time were barred from attending educational institutions of higher studies, from voting in elections from participating in legislative bodies or from serving in the judiciary. They lived under a double standard that tolerated a high degree of sexual freedom for males but none for females. Married women were obliged to obey husbands, who had almost unlimited control over their wives’ activities and finances.
The campaigns waged by Stanton and her comrades met with belligerence and ridicule from journalists, politicians and churchmen alike. Sentiment seemed overwhelmingly hostile. Nonetheless, the women persevered, calling conferences, delivering speeches, circulating petitions and making arduous journeys to far flung towns and rural districts to address small groups in churches, halls and even barns.
After long hue and cry, after a long struggle, the United Nations affirmed “ the equal rights of men and women” in its 1945 charter and a few years later established the U.N.Commission on the status of women to advance this ideal.
Decades have passed since this first recorded struggle. Women have made inroads into traditional male professions. Condoleeza Rice is listed among the most powerful people in the world. Hillary Clinton is likely to be the first female President of the US. Parents no longer dream of marrying of their daughters, as every year throughout India, girls fare better than boys in the 10th std exams. Men are increasingly reporting to women bosses dressed in smart designer shirts and trousers with skills and attitudes to match. The non sexist ‘Ms’ is substituted for the traditional ‘Miss’ or ‘Mrs’, while gender inclusive terms such as ‘humanity’ instead of ‘mankind’, ‘chairperson’ instead of ‘chairman’ are slowly becoming part of our daily conversations and usage.
However, equations are changing. Men are becoming like women and women are becoming like men. The suppressed man or woman tries to free himself or herself from a perennial bondage of cultural stereotypes. We begin to hate and love ourselves all at the same time. The society as a whole is trying to balance its male – female energies. A perfect yin-yang is in the offing.
We are reminded of the powerful portrayal of Portia in the Shakespeare’s play, ‘The Merchant of Venice,’ pleading for the life of Antonio, the merchant of Venice from the incessant demand of Shylock, the Jew to kill Antonio. We see the silent and receptive role of Mary at the house of Lazarus. Above all, we see the powerful sublimation of Mary, our blessed mother, in the Gospels for the sake of God’s plan. We see her interceding particularly at Cana. These were the women of substance solving problems tactfully with their own ingenuity not with the imposed male psyche. It is obvious that women have the power to solve issues in umpteen unbelievable ways. Even her guess is much more accurate than a man’s certainty, as Rudyard Kipling puts it.
With all these new found understanding, power, freedom and creativity, life emerges as strong as ever for both men and women. This life demands for a balance in the society and within each individual. Every person begins to realize that he / she is an androgen having both the male and female natures at various proportions. Essentially the masculine side comes from a place of strength and the feminine side comes from a place of goodness. Humanity, just as each individual, must have them in the right proportion. Let us discover the man and the woman within. This discovery will make life beautiful.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
The joy of secret altruism
All of us have experienced, some times, the warm glow that comes from performing a good deed and getting credit for it. But there is a special kind of satisfaction that comes from doing good and keeping it secret. Those who practice this higher altruism are connoisseurs of inner joy at its loftiest refinement.
Some years ago I read of a man in Boston who went to an understaffed orphanage every Wednesday afternoon to spend an hour or two, entertaining the youngsters - doing card tricks, telling stories, giving the harassed matron and her staff a period of rest and freedom. When some curious people tried to discover his identity, the stranger would only say, “That’s not important.” Cut from the same cloth was an elderly stranger who appeared one day at a hospital in Peterborough, New Hampshire, saying, “I know you must have many odd jobs that need doing. Let me help.” For four months he performed countless menial tasks: sweeping the parking lot, building ramps, removing lint from the laundry. Once asked his name, he smiled and shook his head. “If you knew who I am,” he said, “you’d feel obliged to feel obligated. That would spoil it.” Only after he had moved away did the hospital learn that he was a former vice-president of the Pennyslvania Railroad. Retired and widowed, he had filled months of forced inactivity and grief with cheerful service, rehabilitating his own spirit as well as spreading cheer all around him.
The art of secret altruism does not come naturally. It must be cultivated, for it goes against the natural grain of our ego. We want others to recognise our noble or unselfish gestures. When they do not recognise, we’re tempted subtly to call their attention to it. In doing so, we often discover that the deed has been devalued by suspicion that its performance was prompted, at least partly, by some credit we crave. Also, in our eagerness to help, we sometimes fail to realise how embarrassing our gift may be to the sensitive, or how heavy upon the recipient may seem the obligation of gratitude.
Doing good anonymously avoids these pitfalls. Indian Philosophy speaks of Nishkamakarma. Doing good without expecting anything in return. We do good because it has to be done. We don’t do that good because we will get some benefits like money or any other kind; not even name and fame. We just do what we think is the just thing to do. When we do altruistic acts secretly our inner senses are elated.
Jesus was the supreme preacher and practitioner of doing good secretly. He decried ostentatious charity, warned His followers to “Take heed that you do not give your alms before men, to be seen by them.” After healing the leper, He sternly told him, “See that you tell no man,” and left the scene immediately.
It is often within our own circle that we find our finest opportunities for hidden helpfulness. Years ago the sculptor Sir Hubert von Herkomer found a delightful solution to a distressing family problem. His father, who lived with him, had in his own day won fame for his wood carving. And though the old man still worked at it, he repeatedly went to bed heartbroken because age had dulled his skill. Worried over his father’s unhappiness, Sir Hubert hit upon the idea of stealing downstairs at night to touch up his father’s work. A few deft strokes made all the difference. The old man would come down in the morning, look at the work and exclaim, “It’s not bad, not bad at all. I’ll make something of this yet!”
Secret giving need not be costly in either time or money. It calls only for a keen eye and an understanding heart. I can think of a friend who makes a hobby of writing unsigned but encouraging letters to men in public life who, in his estimate, are performing with integrity despite stinging criticism. His theory: For the most part, politicians get letters of appreciation only from people who want something in return. They get anonymous letters only from cranks who want to blow off stem when angry. “Why not,” he asks, “blow off a little appreciation as well – and with no strings attached?”
Those who do good quietly and without the least expectation of any reward are the ones who understand what Wordsworth meant when he wrote of “that best portion of a good man’s life: his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love.” It’s amasing how much good can be done in this world if one does not care who gets the credit – and how it can set one’s life a glow!
Some years ago I read of a man in Boston who went to an understaffed orphanage every Wednesday afternoon to spend an hour or two, entertaining the youngsters - doing card tricks, telling stories, giving the harassed matron and her staff a period of rest and freedom. When some curious people tried to discover his identity, the stranger would only say, “That’s not important.” Cut from the same cloth was an elderly stranger who appeared one day at a hospital in Peterborough, New Hampshire, saying, “I know you must have many odd jobs that need doing. Let me help.” For four months he performed countless menial tasks: sweeping the parking lot, building ramps, removing lint from the laundry. Once asked his name, he smiled and shook his head. “If you knew who I am,” he said, “you’d feel obliged to feel obligated. That would spoil it.” Only after he had moved away did the hospital learn that he was a former vice-president of the Pennyslvania Railroad. Retired and widowed, he had filled months of forced inactivity and grief with cheerful service, rehabilitating his own spirit as well as spreading cheer all around him.
The art of secret altruism does not come naturally. It must be cultivated, for it goes against the natural grain of our ego. We want others to recognise our noble or unselfish gestures. When they do not recognise, we’re tempted subtly to call their attention to it. In doing so, we often discover that the deed has been devalued by suspicion that its performance was prompted, at least partly, by some credit we crave. Also, in our eagerness to help, we sometimes fail to realise how embarrassing our gift may be to the sensitive, or how heavy upon the recipient may seem the obligation of gratitude.
Doing good anonymously avoids these pitfalls. Indian Philosophy speaks of Nishkamakarma. Doing good without expecting anything in return. We do good because it has to be done. We don’t do that good because we will get some benefits like money or any other kind; not even name and fame. We just do what we think is the just thing to do. When we do altruistic acts secretly our inner senses are elated.
Jesus was the supreme preacher and practitioner of doing good secretly. He decried ostentatious charity, warned His followers to “Take heed that you do not give your alms before men, to be seen by them.” After healing the leper, He sternly told him, “See that you tell no man,” and left the scene immediately.
It is often within our own circle that we find our finest opportunities for hidden helpfulness. Years ago the sculptor Sir Hubert von Herkomer found a delightful solution to a distressing family problem. His father, who lived with him, had in his own day won fame for his wood carving. And though the old man still worked at it, he repeatedly went to bed heartbroken because age had dulled his skill. Worried over his father’s unhappiness, Sir Hubert hit upon the idea of stealing downstairs at night to touch up his father’s work. A few deft strokes made all the difference. The old man would come down in the morning, look at the work and exclaim, “It’s not bad, not bad at all. I’ll make something of this yet!”
Secret giving need not be costly in either time or money. It calls only for a keen eye and an understanding heart. I can think of a friend who makes a hobby of writing unsigned but encouraging letters to men in public life who, in his estimate, are performing with integrity despite stinging criticism. His theory: For the most part, politicians get letters of appreciation only from people who want something in return. They get anonymous letters only from cranks who want to blow off stem when angry. “Why not,” he asks, “blow off a little appreciation as well – and with no strings attached?”
Those who do good quietly and without the least expectation of any reward are the ones who understand what Wordsworth meant when he wrote of “that best portion of a good man’s life: his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love.” It’s amasing how much good can be done in this world if one does not care who gets the credit – and how it can set one’s life a glow!
Learning to love, loving to learn
Love has toppled kings, inspired poets, ignited wars, tamed beasts and changed the course of history. It is credited for life’s greatest joys and blamed for the crushing sorrows. And, of course, it makes the world goes round.
We know love is central to human existence. Human beings are not merely programmed for reproduction alone. The capacity for loving emotions is also written into our biochemistry.
We have inherited a wide range of different views of love – from Christian temperance to romantic passion- which are reflected by the divergent perspectives of various authors. At one extreme are those who see man/woman love primarily in terms of friendship. At another, are those who see this as sex and eroticism.
Passionate love affects the whole body, setting the heart pounding, making the stomach do flip-flops, and of course, lighting the loins on fire. These visceral sensations are the work of the vagus nerve, which traces the path through the body, coordinating the activities of internal organs, says the University of Maryland’s Stephen Porges.
Love’s absence can be devastating: the loss of spouse often hastens death in older people. Researchers have sorted out how body and mind work together to produce the wild, tender, ineffable feelings we call love.
A mother surrenders to her child, a friend to his friend, but not because of enchantment. The mother does so out of a deep rooted natural instinct. The friend surrenders by a clear decision of the will. What is true of love, however, is that our soul escapes from our hand and is sucked in by the other. This suction which another person exercises upon our life uproots it and transplants it to the beloved, where the original roots seem to take root again, as in new soil.
No one has ever arrived at a truly satisfactory definition of love. People could only exhibit love. Love is the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.
Of all the misconceptions about love the most powerful and pervasive is the belief that “falling in love” is love or at least one of the manifestations of love. Unfortunately during the course of falling in love a boy or a girl thinks that she is in love. This misconception haunts not only the youngsters but also the elders who begin to have nightmares the moment a youngster begins to set out in pursuit of knowing what is love or when he falls in love.
But falling in love has two problems. The first is the experience of falling in love is specifically a sex linked erotic experience. We do not fall in love with our children even though we may love them deeply. We do not fall in love with our friends of the same sex –unless we are homosexually oriented- even though we may care for them greatly. We fall in love only when we are consciously or unconsciously sexually motivated. The second problem is that the experience of falling in love is invariably temporary. No matter whom we fall in love with, we sooner or later fall out of love if the relationship continues long enough. This does not mean that we invariably cease loving the person with whom we fell in love. But it is to say that the feeling of ecstatic lovingness that charaterises the experience of falling in love always passes. The honeymoon always ends. The bloom of romance always fades.
The essence of the phenomenon of falling in love is a sudden collapse of a section of an individual’s ego boundaries, permitting one to merge his or her identity with that of another person. The sudden release of oneself from oneself, the explosive pouring out of oneself into the beloved, and the dramatic surcease of loneliness accompanying this collapse of ego boundaries are experienced by most of us as ecstatic. We and our beloved become one!
We can find in love the most decisive indication of what a person is. All other acts and appearances can deceive us. It is in falling in love that a youngster begins to love. And in loving he learns everything for life. Only from the way one loves we can judge a person. If we do not offer the youth a chance to fall in love there will never be a chance to truly exercise his love. He will be suffocated and find himself incapable of love.
For the meandering youth the ecstasy of love will wither but not love. We might call it a crush or puppy love. But still that is a crucial stage for the youth. Because, it is in this process of switching between a crush and true love he matures as a complete human being. For the elders who have gone through this state ecstatically and painfully, it is a moment of worry and irritation to see their sons and daughters celebrating their moments of falling in love. Valentine’s day offers an invitation for the youth to fall in love and for the elders to guide the youth who fall in love. Will the adult world that has already gone through this state guide the younger generation to go through this phase of learning to love and loving to learn?
We know love is central to human existence. Human beings are not merely programmed for reproduction alone. The capacity for loving emotions is also written into our biochemistry.
We have inherited a wide range of different views of love – from Christian temperance to romantic passion- which are reflected by the divergent perspectives of various authors. At one extreme are those who see man/woman love primarily in terms of friendship. At another, are those who see this as sex and eroticism.
Passionate love affects the whole body, setting the heart pounding, making the stomach do flip-flops, and of course, lighting the loins on fire. These visceral sensations are the work of the vagus nerve, which traces the path through the body, coordinating the activities of internal organs, says the University of Maryland’s Stephen Porges.
Love’s absence can be devastating: the loss of spouse often hastens death in older people. Researchers have sorted out how body and mind work together to produce the wild, tender, ineffable feelings we call love.
A mother surrenders to her child, a friend to his friend, but not because of enchantment. The mother does so out of a deep rooted natural instinct. The friend surrenders by a clear decision of the will. What is true of love, however, is that our soul escapes from our hand and is sucked in by the other. This suction which another person exercises upon our life uproots it and transplants it to the beloved, where the original roots seem to take root again, as in new soil.
No one has ever arrived at a truly satisfactory definition of love. People could only exhibit love. Love is the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.
Of all the misconceptions about love the most powerful and pervasive is the belief that “falling in love” is love or at least one of the manifestations of love. Unfortunately during the course of falling in love a boy or a girl thinks that she is in love. This misconception haunts not only the youngsters but also the elders who begin to have nightmares the moment a youngster begins to set out in pursuit of knowing what is love or when he falls in love.
But falling in love has two problems. The first is the experience of falling in love is specifically a sex linked erotic experience. We do not fall in love with our children even though we may love them deeply. We do not fall in love with our friends of the same sex –unless we are homosexually oriented- even though we may care for them greatly. We fall in love only when we are consciously or unconsciously sexually motivated. The second problem is that the experience of falling in love is invariably temporary. No matter whom we fall in love with, we sooner or later fall out of love if the relationship continues long enough. This does not mean that we invariably cease loving the person with whom we fell in love. But it is to say that the feeling of ecstatic lovingness that charaterises the experience of falling in love always passes. The honeymoon always ends. The bloom of romance always fades.
The essence of the phenomenon of falling in love is a sudden collapse of a section of an individual’s ego boundaries, permitting one to merge his or her identity with that of another person. The sudden release of oneself from oneself, the explosive pouring out of oneself into the beloved, and the dramatic surcease of loneliness accompanying this collapse of ego boundaries are experienced by most of us as ecstatic. We and our beloved become one!
We can find in love the most decisive indication of what a person is. All other acts and appearances can deceive us. It is in falling in love that a youngster begins to love. And in loving he learns everything for life. Only from the way one loves we can judge a person. If we do not offer the youth a chance to fall in love there will never be a chance to truly exercise his love. He will be suffocated and find himself incapable of love.
For the meandering youth the ecstasy of love will wither but not love. We might call it a crush or puppy love. But still that is a crucial stage for the youth. Because, it is in this process of switching between a crush and true love he matures as a complete human being. For the elders who have gone through this state ecstatically and painfully, it is a moment of worry and irritation to see their sons and daughters celebrating their moments of falling in love. Valentine’s day offers an invitation for the youth to fall in love and for the elders to guide the youth who fall in love. Will the adult world that has already gone through this state guide the younger generation to go through this phase of learning to love and loving to learn?
Be your own valentine
Do you remember sending valentines when you were a child? Can you recall the beautifully covered shoebox, decorated with glitter and doilies, full of tiny valentines and heart candies? Or perhaps the first serious Valentine’s Day gifts you received, or your first delivery of one dozen red roses?
Receiving a Valentine’s Day gift is a magical experience. It makes people smile, sometimes even feel a bit giddy. After all, this holiday is not about obligatory gifts. When you receive a Valentine’s Day gift, you know the giver cares about you.
Valentine’s Day, is just a day to show the ones you love how much you care. Friends and family routinely send Valentine’s Day cards; even moms get valentines from their own children.
This Valentine’s Day, why not take the time to appreciate someone who rarely gets your attention; someone who deserves a thoughtful gift and a few kind words? Someone like – you! Whether you are single or attached, Valentine’s Day is the perfect day to send yourself a gift of thanks and appreciation. This year, why not be your own valentine?
In your list of things to do each day, where do you factor in? Most women focus on meeting the needs of others before taking care of themselves. Over time, depriving yourself of a much-needed break or indulgence can cause you to feel weary, even a little sad. Still, a special gift and some self-care can be just the pick-me-up you need.
Start thinking of Valentine’s Day as a time to celebrate you. Prepare to treat yourself in the same way you prepare to send a gift to your partner or special friend. Be as thoughtful for yourself as you would be for the important people in your life. Carefully planned gifts always stand out among the last minute trinkets and candies. Take the time to consider what you would love to receive.
Perhaps you have resisted buying a special piece of jewelry, or a beautiful dress. Maybe you would love to have a day at the spa, but have put it off due to time constraints. Even if you are on a budget, there are small indulgences that would make a perfect gift to you. A box of French milled soaps, a new pair of shoes, or perhaps a magazine subscription.
Being your own Valentine also means taking the time to celebrate. Take a two-hour lunch break from work and treat yourself to a meal at a nice restaurant. Snuggle up to watch your favorite movie with yummy snacks. Have a long soak in a bubble bath with a glass of champagne. Spend the day meandering through the cute antique shops you always meant to check out, but never got around to finding the time to explore.
However you decide to care for yourself this Valentine’s Day, remember in order to be your own valentine, you will need to send yourself a card. Write a thoughtful note to yourself, listing what you love about yourself, and why you know you are special. Put the card in the mail ahead of time, so that it arrives in before February 14th.
Make being your own valentine an annual tradition, a time when it’s okay to take time off to take care of you. It’s the perfect time of year to pay extra special attention to your own needs and desires, to have the kind of fun you like to have, and to notice your unique loveliness.
A hallmark holiday?
Many people complain that Valentine’s Day is nothing more than a “Hallmark holiday” dreamed up by businesses seeking to profit from the desperate masses seeking love.
When lovers singing their romantic feelings to their chosen ones, they started writing sonnets and other love poems to give to their romantic interests. By the 18th Century, Valentine’s Day became extremely popular throughout Great Britain and lovers began to exchange token gifts alongside their valentine cards. Amongst the commoners, this gift was often a small sweet that could be obtained with meager funds. In the upper classes, the gifts became more and more extravagant and included large boxes of chocolates, sweets, and even jewels.
In the 1840’s, Esther A. Howland began her company producing valentines in the United States. She became known as the Mother of the Valentine, producing beautiful cards of coloured paper, lace, and ornate lettering. By the late 19th century, valentines were produced in factories by Norcross, later to be known as Hallmark.
These factory-produced valentines grew to encompass more than just declarations of undying love and devotion. As society changed and moved away from formal courtship, the valentines began to cover more light-hearted messages of humour and affection. These valentines showed the worth of their love.
Love may be priceless, but lovers are paying a high price to maintain it!
Receiving a Valentine’s Day gift is a magical experience. It makes people smile, sometimes even feel a bit giddy. After all, this holiday is not about obligatory gifts. When you receive a Valentine’s Day gift, you know the giver cares about you.
Valentine’s Day, is just a day to show the ones you love how much you care. Friends and family routinely send Valentine’s Day cards; even moms get valentines from their own children.
This Valentine’s Day, why not take the time to appreciate someone who rarely gets your attention; someone who deserves a thoughtful gift and a few kind words? Someone like – you! Whether you are single or attached, Valentine’s Day is the perfect day to send yourself a gift of thanks and appreciation. This year, why not be your own valentine?
In your list of things to do each day, where do you factor in? Most women focus on meeting the needs of others before taking care of themselves. Over time, depriving yourself of a much-needed break or indulgence can cause you to feel weary, even a little sad. Still, a special gift and some self-care can be just the pick-me-up you need.
Start thinking of Valentine’s Day as a time to celebrate you. Prepare to treat yourself in the same way you prepare to send a gift to your partner or special friend. Be as thoughtful for yourself as you would be for the important people in your life. Carefully planned gifts always stand out among the last minute trinkets and candies. Take the time to consider what you would love to receive.
Perhaps you have resisted buying a special piece of jewelry, or a beautiful dress. Maybe you would love to have a day at the spa, but have put it off due to time constraints. Even if you are on a budget, there are small indulgences that would make a perfect gift to you. A box of French milled soaps, a new pair of shoes, or perhaps a magazine subscription.
Being your own Valentine also means taking the time to celebrate. Take a two-hour lunch break from work and treat yourself to a meal at a nice restaurant. Snuggle up to watch your favorite movie with yummy snacks. Have a long soak in a bubble bath with a glass of champagne. Spend the day meandering through the cute antique shops you always meant to check out, but never got around to finding the time to explore.
However you decide to care for yourself this Valentine’s Day, remember in order to be your own valentine, you will need to send yourself a card. Write a thoughtful note to yourself, listing what you love about yourself, and why you know you are special. Put the card in the mail ahead of time, so that it arrives in before February 14th.
Make being your own valentine an annual tradition, a time when it’s okay to take time off to take care of you. It’s the perfect time of year to pay extra special attention to your own needs and desires, to have the kind of fun you like to have, and to notice your unique loveliness.
A hallmark holiday?
Many people complain that Valentine’s Day is nothing more than a “Hallmark holiday” dreamed up by businesses seeking to profit from the desperate masses seeking love.
When lovers singing their romantic feelings to their chosen ones, they started writing sonnets and other love poems to give to their romantic interests. By the 18th Century, Valentine’s Day became extremely popular throughout Great Britain and lovers began to exchange token gifts alongside their valentine cards. Amongst the commoners, this gift was often a small sweet that could be obtained with meager funds. In the upper classes, the gifts became more and more extravagant and included large boxes of chocolates, sweets, and even jewels.
In the 1840’s, Esther A. Howland began her company producing valentines in the United States. She became known as the Mother of the Valentine, producing beautiful cards of coloured paper, lace, and ornate lettering. By the late 19th century, valentines were produced in factories by Norcross, later to be known as Hallmark.
These factory-produced valentines grew to encompass more than just declarations of undying love and devotion. As society changed and moved away from formal courtship, the valentines began to cover more light-hearted messages of humour and affection. These valentines showed the worth of their love.
Love may be priceless, but lovers are paying a high price to maintain it!
A romantic peak or a commercial basement?
Every year there is a surge in romantic interest as February, the Month of Hearts, approaches, and the scent of Valentine’s Day begins to waft in the air. When it comes to reality, though, how much of that surge is genuinely about romance? Is it not all a commercial exercise designed to rake in the profits?
I do not think anyone can argue that commercial interests contribute greatly to the publicity that surrounds Valentine’s Day. You see it everywhere from Christmas onwards; the Valentine’s cards, the Valentine’s chocolates with their heart shaped boxes and pictures of roses, plus of course all the advertisements for the roses themselves and how you must book early for that Valentine evening meal.
The commercial side of Valentine’s can appear so overwhelming you may be persuaded to believe that it is nothing to do with love and romance at all, but purely about making money; that the hearts and the roses are nothing more than artificial symbols of a romantic world that no longer exists.
With much of Western society having a hardened veneer, where underneath relationships fall apart with a puff of wind, and divorce is almost built into marriage, anyone can be forgiven for taking such a cynical view. However, dismissing the whole Valentine Day experience as nothing but commercial is far too simplistic, and to do so is to deny oneself a far richer experience: that of genuine romance and love.
Any commercial venture only succeeds if there is a demand, and Valentine’s Day has been a commercial success for many years. Before then, the Valentine’s tradition itself had evolved over many centuries, long before commerce became the apparent driving force behind it. So where has the modern demand come from for an event such as Valentine’s Day?
Love, attraction, obsession, and romance are as old as the hills, and are integral to the human constitution. While many modern people may claim that they prefer to be alone and do not need anyone else, do not need love and romance in their lives, if they were truly honest with themselves they may say something very different. It is not “macho” to publicly need love, affection and romance, so many hide from their own truth, that they probably yearn for the love of another as much as the most openly romantic.
Others, though, reflect as much desire for romantic love as any man or woman over the centuries, and it is deeply natural to do so. They reflect those desires as they go searching for romantic fiction, love poems and true love stories by the million. If they do have love in their lives as Valentine’s Day comes around, then they are well prepared to make the most of it; to indulge in the romantic image with their own twist of reality and desire.
Love and romance have not died and will never die. Some may shy away in fear of the pain of a failed or a tragic romance; but others dive in head first, not fearful that their love will turn out to be as tragic as Romeo and Juliet. Such people provide the never ending demand for a Valentine’s Day that transcends the commercial and explores all the bright and dark corridors of romance. In other words, experience life to the full, and risk the pain and heartache to achieve the ecstasy.
I do not think anyone can argue that commercial interests contribute greatly to the publicity that surrounds Valentine’s Day. You see it everywhere from Christmas onwards; the Valentine’s cards, the Valentine’s chocolates with their heart shaped boxes and pictures of roses, plus of course all the advertisements for the roses themselves and how you must book early for that Valentine evening meal.
The commercial side of Valentine’s can appear so overwhelming you may be persuaded to believe that it is nothing to do with love and romance at all, but purely about making money; that the hearts and the roses are nothing more than artificial symbols of a romantic world that no longer exists.
With much of Western society having a hardened veneer, where underneath relationships fall apart with a puff of wind, and divorce is almost built into marriage, anyone can be forgiven for taking such a cynical view. However, dismissing the whole Valentine Day experience as nothing but commercial is far too simplistic, and to do so is to deny oneself a far richer experience: that of genuine romance and love.
Any commercial venture only succeeds if there is a demand, and Valentine’s Day has been a commercial success for many years. Before then, the Valentine’s tradition itself had evolved over many centuries, long before commerce became the apparent driving force behind it. So where has the modern demand come from for an event such as Valentine’s Day?
Love, attraction, obsession, and romance are as old as the hills, and are integral to the human constitution. While many modern people may claim that they prefer to be alone and do not need anyone else, do not need love and romance in their lives, if they were truly honest with themselves they may say something very different. It is not “macho” to publicly need love, affection and romance, so many hide from their own truth, that they probably yearn for the love of another as much as the most openly romantic.
Others, though, reflect as much desire for romantic love as any man or woman over the centuries, and it is deeply natural to do so. They reflect those desires as they go searching for romantic fiction, love poems and true love stories by the million. If they do have love in their lives as Valentine’s Day comes around, then they are well prepared to make the most of it; to indulge in the romantic image with their own twist of reality and desire.
Love and romance have not died and will never die. Some may shy away in fear of the pain of a failed or a tragic romance; but others dive in head first, not fearful that their love will turn out to be as tragic as Romeo and Juliet. Such people provide the never ending demand for a Valentine’s Day that transcends the commercial and explores all the bright and dark corridors of romance. In other words, experience life to the full, and risk the pain and heartache to achieve the ecstasy.
Do Indians need to celebrate Valentine’s Day?
India is known for its culture and heritage. Indian families are known for their warmth and hospitality. In this context love has always had a much deeper meaning than a mere exchanging of flowers, candies and gifts.
In many parts of India when ‘love’ is spoken about, a stigma is always attached to it. It is more the western concept of love or rather the outward expressions that are loathed. Indian couples who imitate the westerners are not appreciated especially when it comes to ‘PDA’ i.e. public display of affection.
Similarly Valentine’s Day too is looked down upon by nationalist Indians because of the gross imitation of elements of western culture in its celebration. Further Valentine was not an Indian and he was a Christian.
In 2001, the violent protests by Hindu hardliners in the Indian capital failed to deter young lovers in urban India from celebrating Valentine’s Day. The nationalists would have every Indian supporting them in their moral policing against invasion of such a culture. But many of those who give themselves to celebrate Valentine’s day know that they are not just aping the west. They make it an occasion to celebrate their love relationship. In spite of protests from conservative factions the Valentine day celebrations have grown much larger.
Cultures are changing. They are never static. So too is the Indian culture. Valentine’s Day was never a part of Indian culture. It may be true that many youngsters misunderstand or undervalue Valentine’s Day as to be meant for unwarranted sexual involvement and promiscuity. Yet Valentine’s Day is an opportunity for each one to reaffirm one’s love. It needs to be taken in the right sense and not viewed as a day of PDA. In a democratic and secular country like ours people should have the right and freedom to choose and celebrate events such as the Valentine’s Day.
Valentine’s Day celebration is a recent phenomenon in India but has caught the fancy of people to a great extent. Though some see it as a western import and hesitate to celebrate, there exist a large and growing number of those who love the feeling behind the beautiful and romantic festival.
Especially to the Indian youth February 14 signifies love, a day when people express their affection for others. Just as several other countries, people in India too celebrate the Valentine’s Day by exchanging cards and gifts to express their love.
In many parts of India when ‘love’ is spoken about, a stigma is always attached to it. It is more the western concept of love or rather the outward expressions that are loathed. Indian couples who imitate the westerners are not appreciated especially when it comes to ‘PDA’ i.e. public display of affection.
Similarly Valentine’s Day too is looked down upon by nationalist Indians because of the gross imitation of elements of western culture in its celebration. Further Valentine was not an Indian and he was a Christian.
In 2001, the violent protests by Hindu hardliners in the Indian capital failed to deter young lovers in urban India from celebrating Valentine’s Day. The nationalists would have every Indian supporting them in their moral policing against invasion of such a culture. But many of those who give themselves to celebrate Valentine’s day know that they are not just aping the west. They make it an occasion to celebrate their love relationship. In spite of protests from conservative factions the Valentine day celebrations have grown much larger.
Cultures are changing. They are never static. So too is the Indian culture. Valentine’s Day was never a part of Indian culture. It may be true that many youngsters misunderstand or undervalue Valentine’s Day as to be meant for unwarranted sexual involvement and promiscuity. Yet Valentine’s Day is an opportunity for each one to reaffirm one’s love. It needs to be taken in the right sense and not viewed as a day of PDA. In a democratic and secular country like ours people should have the right and freedom to choose and celebrate events such as the Valentine’s Day.
Valentine’s Day celebration is a recent phenomenon in India but has caught the fancy of people to a great extent. Though some see it as a western import and hesitate to celebrate, there exist a large and growing number of those who love the feeling behind the beautiful and romantic festival.
Especially to the Indian youth February 14 signifies love, a day when people express their affection for others. Just as several other countries, people in India too celebrate the Valentine’s Day by exchanging cards and gifts to express their love.
Where is my original valentine?
Love is in the air… Not just in the FM radios. Love quotes galore, love cards with splashy silver lining, colours pink and red running out of stock, reassuring lines “roses are red and violets are blue,” there is something mystifying for every young lover this season. This is all exciting. Wow, kudos to him – the man who began it all – he must be wonderful!
Valentine and love have become synonymous. But who coupled them? It was Valentine himself! The girl who thinks of her Valentine today must give a thought to the original guy who began it. After all a loving heart is no less grateful.
The original Valentine was put in prison. This was because he joined young couples in love by the holy marriage. Valentine had disobeyed the mad King Claudius who said “Young men who married make bad soldiers; they must not marry.” This was cruelty.
Valentine was the bishop of Interamna. He was called the “friend of lovers.” He secretly invited young lovers to come to him and got them married by the sacrament of matrimony. This made King Claudius in Rome angry because he had already abolished marriage. The king arrested Valentine. Execution for Valentine was impending. The king tried to advise Valentine to accept the Roman gods and denounce Christ who taught to love and live genuinely. Valentine instead tried to convert the king himself. Death for Valentine became certain. Valentine was clubbed, stoned, and then beheaded on 24th February in A.D. 270 – sad end for a person who wanted to promote genuine love found in marriage.
Valentine’s day is about true love, friendship, and faithfulness. It least suggests flirtations, carnal (‘fleshy’) love, or heightened fantasies of adolescence.
It’s not to say human romantic love is bad and sinful. The pope Benedict himself uses the word eros associated with human romantic love, to describe God’s love for humankind (in his first encyclical “God is Love”).
In a world where true love and values are on the decline, today’s youngsters can be models of true love like Valentine. They too have the opportunity to become heroes like St. Valentine.
Our hero is Valentine whose hero was Jesus himself who taught to love. On Valentine’s Day we celebrate love. When you circle February 14 on your calendar next time, you can remember who made this day for you to be in the circle of love.
Valentine and love have become synonymous. But who coupled them? It was Valentine himself! The girl who thinks of her Valentine today must give a thought to the original guy who began it. After all a loving heart is no less grateful.
The original Valentine was put in prison. This was because he joined young couples in love by the holy marriage. Valentine had disobeyed the mad King Claudius who said “Young men who married make bad soldiers; they must not marry.” This was cruelty.
Valentine was the bishop of Interamna. He was called the “friend of lovers.” He secretly invited young lovers to come to him and got them married by the sacrament of matrimony. This made King Claudius in Rome angry because he had already abolished marriage. The king arrested Valentine. Execution for Valentine was impending. The king tried to advise Valentine to accept the Roman gods and denounce Christ who taught to love and live genuinely. Valentine instead tried to convert the king himself. Death for Valentine became certain. Valentine was clubbed, stoned, and then beheaded on 24th February in A.D. 270 – sad end for a person who wanted to promote genuine love found in marriage.
Valentine’s day is about true love, friendship, and faithfulness. It least suggests flirtations, carnal (‘fleshy’) love, or heightened fantasies of adolescence.
It’s not to say human romantic love is bad and sinful. The pope Benedict himself uses the word eros associated with human romantic love, to describe God’s love for humankind (in his first encyclical “God is Love”).
In a world where true love and values are on the decline, today’s youngsters can be models of true love like Valentine. They too have the opportunity to become heroes like St. Valentine.
Our hero is Valentine whose hero was Jesus himself who taught to love. On Valentine’s Day we celebrate love. When you circle February 14 on your calendar next time, you can remember who made this day for you to be in the circle of love.
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