Today’s Indians are more aware than ever of thetragedy of child abuse: our national and local media carry daily reports of children who have been beaten, imprisoned, starved, burned or sexually and emotionally abused. Shopping carts, milk cartons, billboards, newspapers all carry the message that children should tell if they are being hurt and that to prevent abuse, just call a hotline and help will arrive.
However, we are slowly awakening to the fact that, even if suspected abuse is reported, this does not always result in safeguarding the child from further abuse. In fact, some of the worst cases are those where authorities were notified of abuse and had determined that the child was at risk, but nevertheless left the child in the care of the abuser. We are also learning that not only the woman who flees domestic violence is at risk from further violence, but that her children are often the innocent witnesses to her being battered or additional victims.
And in far too many cases, the batterer has not only revenges himself on his former partner, but hurts or kills the children as well.
But there is an aspect to this violence in the family which so far has escaped the public’s attention: the granting of sole custody or unsupervised access to the batterer or child abuser.
According to Fr. John Dharman sdb, the director of Anbu Illam, Coimbatore, "One of the most common reasons given for resuming an abusive relationship is the fear that the abuser will act on the threats of taking the children from the victim.
Studies show that batterers have been able to convince authorities that the victim is unfit or undeserving of sole custody in approximately 70% of challenged cases."
The idea that batterers and child abusers are awarded sole custody even when there has been a domestic violence conviction or reliable evidence of sexual abuse may seem so bizarre as to be unbelievable to most Indians. Even those who have experienced this admit that they never would have believed it possible until it happened to them. They thought that if their child made an outcry, help would be there for them.
They thought that judges would look at a history of domestic violence, weigh the medical evidence, listen to the words of their children, and choose to protect the child. Instead, juvenile courts frequently minimize the harmful impact of children’s witnessing violence between their parents and sometimes are reluctant to believe mothers.
Some professionals assume that accusations of physical or sexual abuse of children that arise during divorce or custody disputes are likely to be false, but the empirical research to date shows no such increase in false reporting at that time. In many cases people think that children are frightened about being alone with a father they have seen use violence towards their mother or a father who has abused them.
Instead the recent government study shows that the children accused mothers more than the fathers of abuse. Many children even express their hatred for their mothers who abuse them, but their voices are ignored.
Parents do not give a consideration when children report abuse which their children have disclosed at the hands of the family friends. These parents are at times more interested in protecting their family friends than safeguarding their children. Such cases underscore the importance of having the best interest of the child at heart, and that the protection of the child should be the goal of our child protection system. It goes without saying that each case must be judged on its own merits.
As far as we know, no one has addressed the long term effects of this betrayal upon children who told about being abused but were silenced or ignored by the judicial system and given into the hands of those who had abused and violated them. Many instances go untold and undisclosed due to the fear many of our children have on the parents or friends who visit the family. The children need to have the secure feeling before they divulge.
A family that sits together, plays together, shares together might be a right place for children to share the abuse they underwent. Creating such environment is the utmost duty of the parents, teachers and elders.
Showing posts with label may-june. Show all posts
Showing posts with label may-june. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
CHILD ABUSE
Alarming Facts from a Government study
"Child abuse is shrouded in secrecy and there is a conspiracy of silence around the entire subject. There is a belief that no child is abused in India."
Renuka Chowd hury
Minister of State for Women and Child Development
A shocking case of parents employing someone to kill their son Satish was reported widely in newspapers on January 8, 2005. Eleven year old Satish was alleged to have been infected with HIV, after a blood transfusion during his childhood. As the parents hated to have a son with HIV and since they felt that it would spoil their reputation, they decided to hire a man to administer a fatal injection to kill Satish.
"The parents wanted to kill him as they felt the son may affect their daughter’s future. They also feared that Sathish might tarnish the image of the family among the villagers and relatives," said T. Sundaresan, Superintendent of Police, Madurai.
Children in India, who form 19% of the world’s children and nearly 440 million, are living dangerously is a fact beyond statistical proof. Female infanticide to auto rickshaws packed with school children getting crushed under a speeding truck are our daily news.
The Reuters AlertNet poll conducted a survey among humanitarian workers and journalists to name three places they considered to be world’s most dangerous place for children. The three nations that topped the list are Iraq, Somalia and India.
India is a home for 100 million children who are out of school, 35 million who are homeless, where two out of every three children are physically abused. In India, Child abuse is either taken for granted or it has always been denied.
How safe are the children in the hands of parents? The incident we read was an extreme act of cruelty that a family could inflict on a child. As it involved high drama it got its media attention. But talking about domestic abuse of children is a forbidden fruit for the society as the general belief is that that’s where the children are safe and secure. The parents are often reluctant to admit and deal with child abuse of physical and sexual nature, involving family members. Or some even boast about the physical punishments they inflicted on the children, not considering that as an abuse. With all these ‘Indian Happy Family’ image was maintained.
Renuka Chowdhury, Minister of State for Women and Child Development at the Central Government, in her message on ‘Study on Child Abuse, India 2007’ reiterates that child abuse is shrouded in secrecy and there is a conspiracy of silence around the entire subject. There is a belief that no child is abused in India.
The recent path breaking study on Child Abuse by the Central Government’s Ministry of Women and Child Welfare is shattering and shocking. This is the first time that the Government’s agency is ever taking stock of the situation. The study was conducted in collaboration with UNICEF, Save the Children and Prayas.
The study reveals that "child abuse is common in India" and that "every second child is faced with sexual abuse and two-thirds have been physically abused".The study has taken two years to complete and covered 13 states of India where 12,247 children between 5 and 12 and 2,324 young adults (over the age of 12) were interviewed. The study claims that this is the largest of its kind undertaken anywhere in the world.
The study continuously makes shocking revelations such as among the 15,000 child respondents, 50.9% children were subjected to physical abuse by their mothers while 37.6% faced abuse from their fathers. Only 37.6% faced abuse by their fathers. Hence it is clear that most of the emotional and physical abuse suffered by children in our families is inflicted by mothers.
Another major set back in the growth of the children is also humiliation. Humiliation in early childhood haunts throughout one’ life if not guided and helped properly. Humiliation in childhood is a challenge for later formation of young adults and adults. Humiliation is referred as degradation of self-esteem of a child by shouting, belittling, using abusive language, comparison with other children etc.,
According to the study, 44.13% respondents reported facing humiliation. Here again shockingly, around 44.09% reported being humiliated by their mothers and 35.35 by their fathers. Among these 45.5% in the age group of 5-12, 42.25% in the age group of 13-14 and 43.54% in the age group of 15-18 reported being humiliated in the family environment.
Humiliation often builds around a sense of worthlessness in children. If parents treat a child as though he/she were there as bag and baggage and train to a constant state of surrender to the parental will, they sow the seeds of complexes. Say for example it could be the intolerance of a mother. The study too points out that She might always tell a child "Look you have no worth of your own. Your whole good is to come along with what I say". So, the child loses the basic human option - the option to love. The image of us is really product of what other people, rightly or wrongly, have told us from our childhood that we are. The ugly self-image, that is the result of repeated humiliation, can even cause human inertia, failure and unhappiness.
According to Dr. Loveleen Kacker, the official in charge of child welfare in the ministry under whom the study was conducted is of the opinion that substantial number of the abusers were "persons in trust and care-givers’ who included parents, relatives and school teachers.
Altogether almost 89% of children were subjected to physical abuse by their parents, who have the primary responsibility of protecting their children.
Among the respondents 48% girls whished they were boys as more than two out of three girls felt they were neglected. As per the study, the girls in the families are denied of opportunities for growth. They are more made use of for taking care of siblings and doing household works.
The reasons for child abuse lie within family itself according to the study. The factors are bad relationships, bad marriages, lack of job, lack of money, lack of educational skills, lack of parenting skills. All these have their repercussions on children. As fittest survives, it is the weakest that suffers.
The children also do not report the abuse to anyone. 50% of the young adults still feel that the abuse is matter of the family and should remain within the family. Children don’t betray the parents and relatives. It is rather a slender (17%) per cent of the respondents wish their abusers to be punished. Therefore the challenge is to convince the children to report abuse. But this could spark of a big debate in a society like ours. The idea of children reporting abuse to authorities is purely western. In fact, the study advocates such a reporting.
The study also mentions that high per cent of respondents need care and protection. It is an eye opener of the existing reality that was kept hidden and secret. Families are to be kept together but if the child is in eminent danger in family what do we do?
This study indicates that there is something seriously wrong with our kids in our society. It will also spark off another debate among the NGOs who are vehemently promoting family care as the ideal care for children. In a country like India, we need to look into the context of the society, family and children to decide the sort of care and protection we could plan. There is no single quick fix solution as often advocated by donor agencies to save the children of India.
Though the fact that the study has focused on the most vulnerable groups is of little consolation, the indictment of our Indian families’ cruel treatment to children is exposed. The study also recommends policy and legislations and the need for revision of National policy on children 1974 and need for stricter legislation on to deal with child abuses, to develop protocols on child protection mechanisms at all levels, need for national scheme to prevent vulnerabilities and provide services to those in need, out reach and support services like trauma counseling, medical treatment, police intervention and legal support, tracking missing children, shared responsibility of stake holders, capacity building and advocacy and awareness on child rights.
Well, all these would remain only pious exhortations in a country where families are struggling to recognize children as equal members of the family. Though the recommendations by the study are relevant and realistic yet its implementation into family environment requires no effort to be spared on the part of the Government, Citizens and parents. This is bound to take a decade to reach a decent level of awareness on child rights and protection. Such imminent problem needs immediate attention without delay.
"Child abuse is shrouded in secrecy and there is a conspiracy of silence around the entire subject. There is a belief that no child is abused in India."
Renuka Chowd hury
Minister of State for Women and Child Development
A shocking case of parents employing someone to kill their son Satish was reported widely in newspapers on January 8, 2005. Eleven year old Satish was alleged to have been infected with HIV, after a blood transfusion during his childhood. As the parents hated to have a son with HIV and since they felt that it would spoil their reputation, they decided to hire a man to administer a fatal injection to kill Satish.
"The parents wanted to kill him as they felt the son may affect their daughter’s future. They also feared that Sathish might tarnish the image of the family among the villagers and relatives," said T. Sundaresan, Superintendent of Police, Madurai.
Children in India, who form 19% of the world’s children and nearly 440 million, are living dangerously is a fact beyond statistical proof. Female infanticide to auto rickshaws packed with school children getting crushed under a speeding truck are our daily news.
The Reuters AlertNet poll conducted a survey among humanitarian workers and journalists to name three places they considered to be world’s most dangerous place for children. The three nations that topped the list are Iraq, Somalia and India.
India is a home for 100 million children who are out of school, 35 million who are homeless, where two out of every three children are physically abused. In India, Child abuse is either taken for granted or it has always been denied.
How safe are the children in the hands of parents? The incident we read was an extreme act of cruelty that a family could inflict on a child. As it involved high drama it got its media attention. But talking about domestic abuse of children is a forbidden fruit for the society as the general belief is that that’s where the children are safe and secure. The parents are often reluctant to admit and deal with child abuse of physical and sexual nature, involving family members. Or some even boast about the physical punishments they inflicted on the children, not considering that as an abuse. With all these ‘Indian Happy Family’ image was maintained.
Renuka Chowdhury, Minister of State for Women and Child Development at the Central Government, in her message on ‘Study on Child Abuse, India 2007’ reiterates that child abuse is shrouded in secrecy and there is a conspiracy of silence around the entire subject. There is a belief that no child is abused in India.
The recent path breaking study on Child Abuse by the Central Government’s Ministry of Women and Child Welfare is shattering and shocking. This is the first time that the Government’s agency is ever taking stock of the situation. The study was conducted in collaboration with UNICEF, Save the Children and Prayas.
The study reveals that "child abuse is common in India" and that "every second child is faced with sexual abuse and two-thirds have been physically abused".The study has taken two years to complete and covered 13 states of India where 12,247 children between 5 and 12 and 2,324 young adults (over the age of 12) were interviewed. The study claims that this is the largest of its kind undertaken anywhere in the world.
The study continuously makes shocking revelations such as among the 15,000 child respondents, 50.9% children were subjected to physical abuse by their mothers while 37.6% faced abuse from their fathers. Only 37.6% faced abuse by their fathers. Hence it is clear that most of the emotional and physical abuse suffered by children in our families is inflicted by mothers.
Another major set back in the growth of the children is also humiliation. Humiliation in early childhood haunts throughout one’ life if not guided and helped properly. Humiliation in childhood is a challenge for later formation of young adults and adults. Humiliation is referred as degradation of self-esteem of a child by shouting, belittling, using abusive language, comparison with other children etc.,
According to the study, 44.13% respondents reported facing humiliation. Here again shockingly, around 44.09% reported being humiliated by their mothers and 35.35 by their fathers. Among these 45.5% in the age group of 5-12, 42.25% in the age group of 13-14 and 43.54% in the age group of 15-18 reported being humiliated in the family environment.
Humiliation often builds around a sense of worthlessness in children. If parents treat a child as though he/she were there as bag and baggage and train to a constant state of surrender to the parental will, they sow the seeds of complexes. Say for example it could be the intolerance of a mother. The study too points out that She might always tell a child "Look you have no worth of your own. Your whole good is to come along with what I say". So, the child loses the basic human option - the option to love. The image of us is really product of what other people, rightly or wrongly, have told us from our childhood that we are. The ugly self-image, that is the result of repeated humiliation, can even cause human inertia, failure and unhappiness.
According to Dr. Loveleen Kacker, the official in charge of child welfare in the ministry under whom the study was conducted is of the opinion that substantial number of the abusers were "persons in trust and care-givers’ who included parents, relatives and school teachers.
Altogether almost 89% of children were subjected to physical abuse by their parents, who have the primary responsibility of protecting their children.
Among the respondents 48% girls whished they were boys as more than two out of three girls felt they were neglected. As per the study, the girls in the families are denied of opportunities for growth. They are more made use of for taking care of siblings and doing household works.
The reasons for child abuse lie within family itself according to the study. The factors are bad relationships, bad marriages, lack of job, lack of money, lack of educational skills, lack of parenting skills. All these have their repercussions on children. As fittest survives, it is the weakest that suffers.
The children also do not report the abuse to anyone. 50% of the young adults still feel that the abuse is matter of the family and should remain within the family. Children don’t betray the parents and relatives. It is rather a slender (17%) per cent of the respondents wish their abusers to be punished. Therefore the challenge is to convince the children to report abuse. But this could spark of a big debate in a society like ours. The idea of children reporting abuse to authorities is purely western. In fact, the study advocates such a reporting.
The study also mentions that high per cent of respondents need care and protection. It is an eye opener of the existing reality that was kept hidden and secret. Families are to be kept together but if the child is in eminent danger in family what do we do?
This study indicates that there is something seriously wrong with our kids in our society. It will also spark off another debate among the NGOs who are vehemently promoting family care as the ideal care for children. In a country like India, we need to look into the context of the society, family and children to decide the sort of care and protection we could plan. There is no single quick fix solution as often advocated by donor agencies to save the children of India.
Though the fact that the study has focused on the most vulnerable groups is of little consolation, the indictment of our Indian families’ cruel treatment to children is exposed. The study also recommends policy and legislations and the need for revision of National policy on children 1974 and need for stricter legislation on to deal with child abuses, to develop protocols on child protection mechanisms at all levels, need for national scheme to prevent vulnerabilities and provide services to those in need, out reach and support services like trauma counseling, medical treatment, police intervention and legal support, tracking missing children, shared responsibility of stake holders, capacity building and advocacy and awareness on child rights.
Well, all these would remain only pious exhortations in a country where families are struggling to recognize children as equal members of the family. Though the recommendations by the study are relevant and realistic yet its implementation into family environment requires no effort to be spared on the part of the Government, Citizens and parents. This is bound to take a decade to reach a decent level of awareness on child rights and protection. Such imminent problem needs immediate attention without delay.
Homemade failures
In May 2007, Cho Seung-Hui killed 32 on the campus of Virginia Tech, in Blacksburg, Virginia. He also turned the gun on himself after killing the others. It was shocking for everyone around. Details about Cho unraveled after he committed his gory crime tell us that he was a nearly insane character who seemed to have had difficult childhood. We also had great people. We are happy about them and try to imitate them. All these greatness or belittling elements in us take us back partially to our childhood and to our families. It is for this reason that everyone values the childhood and the formation given to children in the family.
All of us bring back our childhood memories now and then. We cherish many moments of ecstasy and thrill. We have accumulated within us the years of experiences as memories. We were nourished by our experiences which shaped us. Others see in us what the past had written on us. Others experience the good or bad things that have made us up. Many have appreciated or cursed us for the kind of persons we are.
We see we have two important factors moulding us. One is the genes passed on to us; the other is the environment which shapes us. We find ourselves unable to modify what has been in us by our genes. We are able to change the environment in which we live. The family in which we are brought up is the environment which we can alter or change to suit us.
The Home is the nursery of character. Just as the home is the most potent influence for good training, so it is for bad. We do not mean that it is the only influence, for the school, companions and other circumstances to which the child is exposed, all play their part in moulding his character and shaping his personality. But the faulty or the good mental habits that are most deeply furrowed in the mind are those which are planted during the plastic years of early childhood. The fist seven years of life constitute perhaps the most important period for training to wholesome mental attitudes. The difficulties of most "problem children" originate in the family. A very large percentage of failures in life are homemade failures.
This is a broad statement but it is not so dogmatic as it may at first appear. For it is in the home that the child lays down the emotional attitudes that form the basis of his adult personality. Since the environment of the home is chiefly the creation of the parents, it is the responsibility of parents to supply a home atmosphere that will foster the growth of healthy attitudes in their children.
The child’s first teacher, and in some respects the most important teacher he will ever have, is the parent. Others may impart more knowledge and information to the child but it is from his parents that he receives his basic points of view, his methods of tackling his problems, and is fundamental philosophy of life. In the early years the parents interpret life for the child and at the same time they lay the foundations on which he will build his own future interpretations. The parents decide what pictures hang on the wall, the books that come into the home, the kind of people who visit there, the type of conversation that is encouraged, the neighbourhood in which the child is reared, the school and church he attends, and the countless other things that enter into his experience. All these factors influence the child’s present emotional responses. Many of them arouse permanent dispositions that will colour his reactions to the problems he encounters in later life.
Almost a quarter of a billion children are working as child labourers today, and will continue toiling tomorrow despite the world’s promise to care for every child, the scourge of child labour still leaves countless children deprived of their most basic rights. The saddest thing is that it happens now right where they are supposed to be secure. These children have become homemade failures.
We need a renewed determination to protect the lives of all children. Governments must be called upon to meet the commitments in the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child and in the ILO Conventions on child labour. The international community must make the protection and development of children the first priority in aid programmes. Businesses must stop using children to turn a quick profit. And above all, ordinary people, adults and children alike, must make it clear that the abuse of children as child labourers has no place in this world.
The commercial exploitation of children in both developing and developed countries has come to be recognised as the most common form of child abuse today. Subjected to physical, psychological and emotional abuse, children are often trapped with no other options, but to be bonded in the families. Too often society simply accepts their labour at homes as a harsh reality and turns a blind eye as the children suffer horrendous abuse.
Do we consider ourselves civilised? Do we deserve to be called humanity when we take the youngest children and abuse them for petty profit and power?
All of us bring back our childhood memories now and then. We cherish many moments of ecstasy and thrill. We have accumulated within us the years of experiences as memories. We were nourished by our experiences which shaped us. Others see in us what the past had written on us. Others experience the good or bad things that have made us up. Many have appreciated or cursed us for the kind of persons we are.
We see we have two important factors moulding us. One is the genes passed on to us; the other is the environment which shapes us. We find ourselves unable to modify what has been in us by our genes. We are able to change the environment in which we live. The family in which we are brought up is the environment which we can alter or change to suit us.
The Home is the nursery of character. Just as the home is the most potent influence for good training, so it is for bad. We do not mean that it is the only influence, for the school, companions and other circumstances to which the child is exposed, all play their part in moulding his character and shaping his personality. But the faulty or the good mental habits that are most deeply furrowed in the mind are those which are planted during the plastic years of early childhood. The fist seven years of life constitute perhaps the most important period for training to wholesome mental attitudes. The difficulties of most "problem children" originate in the family. A very large percentage of failures in life are homemade failures.
This is a broad statement but it is not so dogmatic as it may at first appear. For it is in the home that the child lays down the emotional attitudes that form the basis of his adult personality. Since the environment of the home is chiefly the creation of the parents, it is the responsibility of parents to supply a home atmosphere that will foster the growth of healthy attitudes in their children.
The child’s first teacher, and in some respects the most important teacher he will ever have, is the parent. Others may impart more knowledge and information to the child but it is from his parents that he receives his basic points of view, his methods of tackling his problems, and is fundamental philosophy of life. In the early years the parents interpret life for the child and at the same time they lay the foundations on which he will build his own future interpretations. The parents decide what pictures hang on the wall, the books that come into the home, the kind of people who visit there, the type of conversation that is encouraged, the neighbourhood in which the child is reared, the school and church he attends, and the countless other things that enter into his experience. All these factors influence the child’s present emotional responses. Many of them arouse permanent dispositions that will colour his reactions to the problems he encounters in later life.
Almost a quarter of a billion children are working as child labourers today, and will continue toiling tomorrow despite the world’s promise to care for every child, the scourge of child labour still leaves countless children deprived of their most basic rights. The saddest thing is that it happens now right where they are supposed to be secure. These children have become homemade failures.
We need a renewed determination to protect the lives of all children. Governments must be called upon to meet the commitments in the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child and in the ILO Conventions on child labour. The international community must make the protection and development of children the first priority in aid programmes. Businesses must stop using children to turn a quick profit. And above all, ordinary people, adults and children alike, must make it clear that the abuse of children as child labourers has no place in this world.
The commercial exploitation of children in both developing and developed countries has come to be recognised as the most common form of child abuse today. Subjected to physical, psychological and emotional abuse, children are often trapped with no other options, but to be bonded in the families. Too often society simply accepts their labour at homes as a harsh reality and turns a blind eye as the children suffer horrendous abuse.
Do we consider ourselves civilised? Do we deserve to be called humanity when we take the youngest children and abuse them for petty profit and power?
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