Friendship Therapy

The following are the ways to make your friendship therapeutic and soothing

Be open to finding new aspects of your true self in your friendship. When you see yourself in the eyes of a friend, you discover “you” as a fresh and exciting creation.
• Do not compete with your friend; play, but do not, compete. Friendship does not have a goal – only “winning” or “beating” is a goal.
• Don’t falsely flatter your friend because you’re trying to avoid being critical. There’s another way- affirming while expressing constructive, loving concern.
• Don’t fear the anger that is a natural part of friendship. Anger itself can be a friend telling you that something is wrong. Respond with openness and honesty.
• When your friend hurts you, your friendship can survive. Don’t try to hide your pain. Talk it over.
• Turn to your friend when you’re feeling weak or in need of help. You may have more to offer the relationship when it seems you have little to give.
• Let your friend be weak or in need; a friend’s weakness is a gift that calls out to your strength.
• Be truthful with your friend. Truth and love are themselves friends; one without the other makes each less.
• Be humble with your friend. You cannot be who your friend needs if you think you have all the answers.
• Allow yourself to be loved by your friend. You can give only what you have received.
• Give to your friend without expecting something in return. The most gratifying giving comes without expectation or concern for outcome.
• Spend time with your friend: sweet times like, walking, playing, praying; and not so sweet time like disagreeing, hurting, searching.
• Listen gleefully to each other’s laughter; your hearts will know abundant joy.
• Listen gently to each other’s sobs; your hearts will know abundant life.
• Bless your friend’s brokenness; let your friend bless yours. This is what God does.
• Accept your friend without being judgmental. It’s not that you don’t challenge each other; it’s just that you strive to know each other’s reality.
• To be a good friend, value yourself. To treasure another’s essence in your heart, you must first treasure the precious essence that is you.
• You don’t need to vow to be a friend forever; just be. Say yes to the gift you are to each other and warm yourselves in the glow of that miracle.
• A friend accepts you just as you are. Who you are in your friend’s eyes gives you a glimpse of who you are in God’s eyes.
• Cultivate your friendship. In the soil of respect, drenched with the light of truth and the moisture of compassion, life will burst forth as a towering tree, abundant with the fruit of love.
• Welcome magic and serendipity in your friendship. The most wonderful things can happen when two persons share their deepest selves.
• Pray with your friend and speak of God together. The most profound experience in friendship is to share you encounters with mystery.
• When overtures of friendship are made in ways that make you uncomfortable, your friend is probably needy. Give your friend a chance to explore that neediness by being honest about your discomfort.
• Say “no” to your friend when “no” is appropriate, and gracefully accept your friend’s “no”. Friendship is wide enough and deep enough to allow “no”, “yes”, “may be”, and “I don’t know”.
• Respect your own boundaries as well as your friend’s. Know what is yours to share and what is yours to hold quietly within.
• Share a special time with your friend – an early morning breakfast, a walk at sunset, a late-night conversation. When your souls are free from the day’s concerns, you can savour the quiet bond between you.
• Touch your friend, when it is respectful and reassuring, not needy and demanding. Touch between friends is sacred, connecting body and soul.
• Accept a friend’s departure gracefully. Farewells allow for new beginnings and fresh experiences.
• Set an anniversary date to mark the birth of your friendship. Together you can remember, laugh, cry and dream about the future.
• Celebrate your friendship with gratitude. Lift up your friend in thanksgiving and rejoice in God’s blessing.